“Oh my god, guys.” Anon briskly ran up to the café counter with a suspicious object in hand. “You have to see this.”

Unfazed, Taki poured some Oolong into a cup and placed it on a saucer, then slid it forwards. “I sincerely doubt that.”

“Thanks, Taki-chan.” Soyo took her tea and glared at Anon. “I’m also not interested, in case you were getting any ideas.”

“No, listen! Ikebukuro Weekly printed a story on MyGO!” Anon waved the magazine in her hand around. Indeed, some very small text on the cover read ‘Exclusive! Local band MyGO’s Secrets Revealed!’.

“Ikebukuro Weekly?,” Taki scoffed. “That small-time rag?”

“Oh, come on, Rikki~! We barely even have 1,000 followers on Binsta, you know! Ever hear the expression ‘beggars can’t be choosers’?”

“I bet they just asked ChatPTG to write some insipid profile to pad the pages. Those guys have scratch for editorial integrity.”

“…Sounds like you got a bone to pick, Rikki.”

“And what if I do?” Taki slammed down her hand. “The piece they ran on Afterglow last year was the worst drivel I’ve ever read, all rumors with zero evidence. And you could tell it hurt Mitake-senpai, too.”

“Uh… yeah, sure.” Anon recoiled. “I’m just gonna read it, ‘kay?”

“Suit yourself. I won’t be listening.”

“Nor will I,” Soyo added.

“Oookay… flip, flip… here!” Anon began to read aloud. “MyGO is an indie band local to Ikebukuro. Their sound is an eclectic blend of mainstream Japanese rock with post-hardcore, screamo, and a touch of spoken-word poetry… Uh, I don’t know what any of that means, but cool.”

“Heh. Yeah, you wouldn’t.”

“Tch. Um, the band’s members are all in their teens, and though that does show through in their amateurish playing, it lends their music a certain char—”

“Amateurish?! They must be talking about you.”

Anon gave Taki a look, then continued. “…A certain charm. Though little-known outside Toshima, their frequent shows at live house ‘RiNG’ have earned them a small yet loyal following, who all swear their life was changed by the band’s music; particularly by their vocalist Takamatsu’s lyricism. Aw~! You hear that, Rikki?”

“Yeah, yeah. Anything I haven’t heard before?”

“Right here! But beneath their facade lies a quagmire of drama and salacious love affairs… Eh?! No way!”

Soyo peered from behind her cup.

“First and most obvious is the relationship between rhythm guitarist Chihaya and bassist Nagasaki.” Anon gulped.

“The… two have been spotted on several dates. Most recently, our field reporter Tsutsujimori spotted them s-sharing… a kiss… near… Mukohara station. Uh.”

A hard clink rang out as Soyo slammed her cup down.

“I thought we were alone! Soyorin, I’m sorryyy~!,” Anon pled.

But Soyo stayed silent.

“Rikki… I’m in the doghouse…”

“Serves you right,” Taki said. “Now go on, keep reading.”

“But I thought you didn’t care~!”

“…Just shut up and do it.”

“Fine. The band’s second relationship is rather less obvious and traditional— rude! …According to our insiders, guitarist Kaname and vocalist Takamatsu have been spotted in myriad hidden, quiet places, engaging in… uh… strange forms of… intimate play.”

“Excuse me? The hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I-it goes on… cuddling in the grass at Otomeyama park, exchanging long hugs and tender glances, and Takamatsu even allowing Kaname to… lick… her cheeks and bare shoulders… Uh. I… I guess I have seen them do that. But… is it really…?”

“Who knows,” Soyo said. “Those two seem like they’re in their own little world, sometimes.”

“Hm~! You know, I never thought of them that way. I should ask Tomorin… Whatcha think, Rikki? …Rikki?”

A vein was visibly bulging through Taki’s forehead.

“I am going to kill these people.” She rounded the counter. “And then myself,” she added, and walked out of the café.

“Uh… yikes. That’s rough, eh, Soyorin?”

“Don’t talk to me,” Soyo said, sweetly.

“…Crap,” Anon lamented. “I freaking hate the media!!!”